careful? or tightwad?

One of the traits of financially successful people is that they are careful with their finances. On the other hand, we have all probably come across someone at some stage where we’ve thought them to be a tightwad. So what’s the difference?

It’s the energy behind the behaviour.

Here’s my definition. To be careful with your finances is where you respect what you have, are looking after it, are making deliberate and conscious choices about what you want to spend your money on and you feel that you have enough – it’s simply a matter of choice. You come from a place of abundance.

Being a tightwad, on the other hand, comes from a place of being afraid to spend, a sense of needing to hoard. You make choices not so much about what you want to spend on but from a place of not wanting to spend at all – because you feel that you haven’t got enough. The energy behind it is different; it is restricted.

This is not a question of making a judgment on ourselves or on someone else. We aren’t quite that black and white to always be fully one or the other, but we will have facets of one perspective being more dominant than the other, depending on the circumstances. The idea is simply to be watchful and notice when you are feeling abundant and when you are not.

Stress? Or Ease?

As an example, one of my clients is a multi-millionaire. He is highly successful, and in absolute terms, is financially free. He makes careful choices about what he wants to spend his money on, but often, he worries about whether he has enough. When he gets into that frame of mind, he goes into hoarding mentality and doesn’t want to spend at all. He feels that what he has is "not enough" and may not last long enough.

His wife is also financially wealthy in her own right but she doesn’t have concerns over whether there is enough. She fully believes that there always will be enough, even if they didn’t have the millions saved or invested. She believes that if they were to lose everything, they would somehow always make it back and have enough. She is thoughtful about how she spends, and she always feels good about her choices and the whole concept of finances.

Which of the two – my client or his wife – has a sense of financial stress? And which has a sense of ease?

True Wealth & True Financial Freedom

True wealth and true financial freedom comes from knowing that there will always be enough and that your financial situation is like nature itself. There is always ebb and flow, ebb and flow, ebb and flow. You manage your finances, you make what decisions you make, then you let it go, because there is nothing more to think about. The person who keeps worrying is the person without financial freedom, regardless of how much cash they may have stashed away in their bank account.

I do understand that when you have little money, you have to think about it rather more closely than someone else who has significantly more. I’ve been there in the past. But there is a difference in the quality of the thinking.

Is the energy behind the thinking that of "I don’t want to spend because I want to hang on tightly to what I’ve got", or is the energy that of "I’m making a deliberate choice today and I feel good about choosing not to spend"?

Why is this of any importance at all? The reason is because one mindset helps you to get what you want more easily, whilst the other doesn’t; and one mindset brings you a far better quality of life than the other, regardless of your external circumstances. Only you can tell which one is dominant for you.

Action Points

1. Think about an aspect of your life that you know is working well for you.

2. Consider what kind of thoughts you have about this aspect of your life. Do you think much about it? Worry about it? Or do you find that you almost take it as given that things will always work out well.

3. Next, think about one aspect of your life where you feel that things are not quite working out for you.

4. Consider what kinds of thoughts you have about this aspect of your life.

5. Now, with this awareness, what do you feel you want to change in relation to your thoughts and actions to take, so that you can feel less stress and more fun and ease in that area (to the extent that you can almost forget about it)? How would you manage your finances differently?

6. Just do it!

Quote

"Out of abundance they took abundance, and still abundance remained" - The Upanishads

"Make no mistake, my friend, it takes more than money to make men rich" - A P Gouthey

"You can't get rid of poverty by giving people money " - P J O'Rourke

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